the bobfather chronicles

** Update RE: Bobfather Smoke OUT

2011-02-24T11:20:00.000-05:00

As an update to this post from 2006. Everyone has quit smoking. Well not everyone, Nick.

When they discover the magic pill that fixes all things related to smoking. I will be back on the sauce instantly.

Cheers :D

the bobfather chronicles

2006-03-20T09:03:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone

Stress Factory - 3/15/06

2006-03-16T23:52:00.000-05:00

Last night, Nicky and I were front row for the comedy show at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick. The show was amazing. Six comedians (all of whom killed) including Chris Magnetti, Jim Florentine (special Ed from Crank Yankers) and of course the best two by far...... Rich Vos and lil Jimmy Norton. Of the 12 people sitting front row, only Nick and I survived getting thrashed. The poor Hindu guy next to me got slammed by almost all the comics, but specifically Vos. Nicky did have his moment of glory in front of 300 people when he was invited on stage by Vos to experience first hand the Rich Vos ear smell. For all of you who have been out of the O&A seen for a while or are listening to that old hypocrite Stern, Vos for some reason, has this awful smell behind his ear that Nicky now describes as "10 day old toe cheese"......Yuck.

For all of you who were with us to see Bill Burr last month, we happen to come across an old friend from that night. Hootie McBoob (the chick that was across the table from me and flashed me her huge cans) was there and once again graced me, Nicky, Jimmy Norton, Rich Vos, and Club Soda Kenny with a full out view of her large rack. She's still a tad on the heavy side, but as Jimmy said, "she's a good egg."

Well wish you were all there with us.....actually no we don't, you all stink on ice.

Love always,

AJ

Sushi, Bananas, AJ the FANOIK?

2006-02-24T09:36:00.000-05:00

Saturday night was awesome. First off 50 bucks worth of raw fish!!!! I know it sounds crazy but it was some effin good sushi. Then off to Bananas comedy club were we all laughed our asses off... Some great comics. Joe Bublewicz (www.joebub.com) and Bill Burr (www.billburr.com)

Where the fuck was JJ this weekend? and how is it we all missed AJ's private show....

The sushi put a little sugar in AJ's pants

yumm..... raw fish

2006-02-21T13:57:00.000-05:00

Nick and Tina's Engagement Party

2006-02-20T11:08:00.000-05:00

Well Nick and Tina's Engagement party was alot of fun. I know I drank way too much. I was very very drunk. Nick and Tina both said I didn't do anything bad so thank god for that. However JJ said i curse too much, which I know I do. So I apologize for the cursing. I am a real potty mouth. I still dont know how I ended up at Benders...

One other thing, Greg , why the heck did you ask the priest if he gets it on with the nuns? JI, see we are not going to hell, stretch is.

More Pictures HERE

O yeah sorry about your rug greg.

Lil Jimmy Norton's Zany Lines for 2/15/06

2006-02-15T19:03:00.000-05:00

Only two good sayings from today:

(Discussing Scott Farrell)

"Why don't you take a stick with AIDS & fuck your mother with it.......You silly goose."

(Discussing the Bad Boy Figure Skater)

"How are you judged as the 'Bad Boy' of figure skating? Are you the only one who tested HIV negative?"

great gogaboogagels

2006-02-08T10:45:00.000-05:00

Nick's Pre-SuperBowl Warmup

2006-02-05T17:19:00.000-05:00

Nothing like toting on your own vodka filled mule. hulllalallalallala

The O&A "SUPER BALL"

2006-02-02T18:27:00.000-05:00

Well people, today was the Super Ball on O&A and it did not disappoint. There were three rounds in the competition and they were grueling to listen too. Here is a recap of today's events:

Round 1 (Mousetraps to the ball sack)

Raphael - 3 traps on his sack. (3 traps that were actually HANGING from his sack at one time.)
Steve - 5 traps on his sack.
Matt - 6 traps on his sack.

Cringe factor of 6.7

Round 2 (Waxing strips to the balls)

All the competitors took a strip to the sack and ripped it off.

Cringe factor of 5.5

Round 3 (Sack in a jar with bees and wasps - the ultimate challenge)

Raphael started the competition with at least 4 stings of bees to the sack. He was followed by Steve who too 1 bee sting and at least 1 wasp sting. The finale was Matt who took a wasp hive in a glass jar along with his sack......MULTIPLE WASP BITES......it was sick.

Cringe factor of 9.9

The Jimmy quote of the day: "I'm a faggot & I hate bees."

The NEW Top 10 List of Things That I Hate by John Ingrassia

2006-02-01T19:13:00.000-05:00

I have been commissioned by an anonymous individual to recreate a top 10 list of things that I hate.

Now I feel it necessary to explain to you all that this list contains my personal feelings and they do not represent the views and opinions of the Bobfather or any member of CCCM. (Translation: they all think this way but are more politically correct, or just nicer than I am) .

This list WILL make some, if not all of you hate me. Personally, I really don't give a flying fuck. Love me, hate me, blow me, whatever.....

So without further ado or fan fair, The NEW Top 10 List of Things I Hate by John Ingrassia

1. The Boston Red Sox. Take your one championship, your racist city and your fucking Patriots and shove them up your fat "chouda" eating asses.
2. The French. God I pray that you one day have weapons of mass destruction so we can flatten you too.
3. Anti-military people (Not anti-Bush or Anti war). Last I checked, we don't have a draft in this country. Every soldier in the armed forces, knows what they signed up for and most of them have the courage to do what has to be done. These brave men and women are fighting for OUR CONTINUED WAY OF LIFE. They are doing their jobs, SO STOP BEING HIPPY COCKSUCKERS AND STAND BEHIND THEM. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEY WAY THINGS ARE DONE HERE THEN MOVE THE FUCK AWAY CAUSE YOUR NOT NEEDED HERE.
4. Arrogant Rich Assholes. Most of you have inherited your wealth from your rich mummy's and daddies and have earned NOTHING yourselves. And dickhead, your really smart taking your new LOTUS out in a winter storm. Nothing brought me more joy than to watch you slide off the road, as I drove by, beeped and giving you the finger.
5. New Jersey Malls. "New Jersey Malls are very nice and no tax." Are they really nice? THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT FIND MALLS NICE ARE THOSE THAT DON'T HAVE DICKS OR WISH THAT THEY DIDN'T.
6. Removing wallpaper. I have determined that wallpaper was invented by terrorist in an attempt to make men kill their wives as they attempt to remove it or replace it.
7. Setting people up on blind dates. Nightmare, plain and simple.
8. Old People Driving. This is still here..........O MY GOD I WISH YOU WOULD JUST HIT THE GAS.
9. IRAQ. We should have just flattened the damn place.
10. Gas prices. I guess this shows you anti-war/anti-Bush/anti-military that the war was NOT about oil. Cause last I checked the prices have increased, not decreased and Exxon Mobil has announced record revenues and profits for 2005. BOY AM I GLAD THAT THE WAR WAS ALL ABOUT OIL. YOU SHITHEADS.

Lil Jimmy Norton's Zany Lines for 2/1/06

2006-02-01T18:09:00.000-05:00

Once again, for those of you that don't have XM you may or may not get these but they were my favorite Jimmy Quotes for today.

1. "Stuff your bra Flatzo." (Woman who is suing MSG for harassment)
2. "It's not a queeb you dope. It's a queef." (Women caller who thought that a queef was called a queeb)
3. "Weeping like a fat tited wash woman." (Done while Jimmy was watching Forrest Gump)
4. "Diddling My Grandmothers Clit with a Hammer......Man." (Jimmy new favorite super hero)
5. "'I'm a token cunt on a radio show.'" (Jimmy talking about the female DJ or "Hole" on JV & Elvis on Free FM)

The classic Jimmy line for an irate caller: "Take you XM flush it down the toilet, buy a Sirius and go fuck your mother."

Nicky, if you missed these today, they were priceless. For the rest of you, if you don't get them or like them, blow me.

Opie & Anthony XM Radio Update

2006-01-31T23:50:00.000-05:00

Well all,

Since Nicky and I are XM subscribers and the rest of you either listen to "Free FM" (75 minutes of commercials for three minutes of shit entertainment) or you are Sirius subscribers (you enjoy listening to a wash up has been that hasn't been funny since 1992..."whoo whoo Robin") we have decided that you all should have regular updates on what the pioneers of satellite are up to.

This week the boys welcomed back their ol' pal lil Jimmy Norton who has spent the last three weeks in LA finishing up the first season of "Lucky Louie," which will be airing on HBO sometime around July. Jimmy has been telling the boys all about his escapades in LA which include falling for a good girl only to be rejected and sent him running back to the only women that love him....Hookers.

The boys are also planning for Thursday which should be interesting with the first annual "SUPERBALL" in which two gentlemen will be partaking in games that will put their ball sacks through absolute agony. The finale of the bit has a cringe factor of about 8.9 as the two contestants will be placing their sacks (ball sacks for you morons that don't get it) in a glass jar with........live bees.......To quote Anthony "Just thinking of this gives me a twinge in my taint."

We would like to thank Billy Burr and Patrice O'Neal for filling in for lil Jimmy while he was away....you were both amazing.

Kisses to all.

Bobfather Smoke OUT

2006-01-29T17:04:00.002-05:00

** UPDATE 5 /4/2009 ** We all have quit smoking except nick cause he is no quitter!

Ok starting Monday January 30th, Me, Greg, and JJ are quiting smoking. Here is the catch, every sunday we will be collecting 20 bucks per week for 6 months. Anyone caught smoking loses and forfits all the money in the pot. If we are all successful we will us the money for an all out bash or to pay for the NC trip. So if anyone catches anyone smoking you are to report them ASAP. The starting Deposit I have is 60 bucks which is for today January 29th.

Top 10 List of Things that I Hate by John Ingrassia

2006-01-09T01:14:00.000-05:00

1. Stupid People. They are everywhere and especially in my way.
2. The Boston Red Sox. YOU STINK YOU ALWAYS WILL.
3. THE FRENCH.
4. New Jersey Malls. There is nothing in the world that they sell at the mall that you can’t purchase on line.
5. Car Mechanics. Oil change $19.95, Air Filter $41.50, 3 New Tires that are “Necessary” for $275, priceless.
6. Traffic and Traffic Lights.
7. The last Singer for The Green Room. YOU STINK, CAN’T SING, AND CAN’T GET ALONG WITH MIKE LISANTE.
8. Not getting 7 Friday’s off in the summer. STUPID JOB.
9. Senior Citizens driving. You reach the age of 60, God Bless you and TURN IN YOUR F*CKING LISCENCE.
10. Setting people up on blind dates. IT NEVER EVER WORKS. JUST DEAL WITH IT.

Giants Owned.

2006-01-09T01:08:00.000-05:00

Wow did they suck. I mean did they even fucking show up for the game? So pathetic. Panthers 23 Giants 0. Well better luck next year big blue.

I guess its time to start counting down the days til the Yankess home opener.

Work, Party, Party, Football

2006-01-07T23:34:00.000-05:00

Well the frist week of work went really well. Day one was slow, but after that it all fell into place.
Cranking out the work was the theme for most of the week. Friday was a nice change though. Going out in Manhattan instead of being strapped to a bar stool in Lake Huntington. It was good to meet up with my friends and see many old friends from HFM.

Saturday night was good, It was Nicky Booms birthday and we celebrated with a stop at El Cids, one of the CCCM's old stomping grounds. As you can see on the left, the 5 of us sure know how to eat and drink. Happy BDAY Nick you old bastard.
GO BIG BLUE

peace out. The BobFather

New Job Count-Down

2006-01-02T20:11:00.000-05:00

12 hours and counting......

back in the n-j

2006-01-02T02:01:00.000-05:00

well new year's eve was cool. spent it with a few members of the crew at the restaurant. i must say i did have fun, however I do think drinking 10 pints of Amstel and not getting drunk qualifies as a problem. Well reality is coming soon, one more day til i start my new j-o-b. a word to all my nyc metro peeps : "let the games begin" . . .. . . and first round is on me... . . . .

The Last Day

2005-12-31T04:44:00.000-05:00

Well it is almost 5 am, it is time to sleep for a little bit and get ready to finish up my last day at the restaurant. There is a lot of shit behind this, but since I just started blogging you will have to wait for me to post about it.

Anyway just a few more days til i return back to the real world. Back to some normalcy, back to manhattan baby, just so everyone knows, I am starting at Colin Cowie Lifestyles.

I kinda hope that the restaurant will be fine without me. It just seems sometimes I care way to much about someone else's business. I am sure it will go on.

Well just a few more hours till 2006, See you all on the flip side

The First Post

2005-12-31T02:26:00.000-05:00

This is my first post =)